We all have to work to earn the dough
To allow us to survive.
But the people that deserve a meddle
Are the ones that teach us to drive.

I was a driving instructor and
Was told I was one of the best.
And this is one of the stories
that happened leading to the test.

I got a phone call one day
From a man who wanted to learn.
He said he wanted six lessons
To pass his test was his concern.

I picked him up for his hourly stint
He grinned at me from ear to ear.
He spoke in broken English,
And said “I hafe no fear”

He got in the car without warning,
And laid his hands on the key
I told him to sit back and relax
and take his instructions from me.

He was wearing big hobnail boots,
His name should have been “Jake”
Every time he touched the gas
His foot also hit the brake.

I told him to start in first gear,
But please push the clutch down first,
He said “I know”and forgot the clutch
and the gear box promptly burst!.

We were out on his fifth lesson,
I was taking pills by the score,
I’d used up all of my lives
I felt I couldn’t take much more.

We were going down a hill at speed
About fifty miles an hour,
I told him to slow down with the brake
And instead he hit the power.

We were now doing more than sixty
and I wished I was home in bed,
We were approaching traffic lights
and whats more they were red!

I closed my lids and saw my life
pass before my eyes
I thought I’d soon be teaching
Far up in the skies.

A honking of horns a screech of brakes
and we’d passed right through the lights.
I’m not usually or easily scared,
But that certainly gave me the frights!

Needless to say he failed his test
So he’s not allowed on the road.
But if he had passed and let loose
they’d have changed the highway code!